Moving in, moving up...

What the hell do I know about furniture?

I decided that even though I'm a bachelor now, the boys and I should step it up a bit.  Since the ex moved out, I haven't had much in the way of furniture for the living room.  Down to the bare essentials, really.  Couch?  Check.  TV?  Check.  Badass AV setup?  Check, although I never installed it at the apartment.

What more could a guy need?

Well, I decided that since I'm renting a nice duplex starting Thursday (yeah yeah, get off my ass, I'll buy a house as soon as I can afford it), I should upgrade my furniture.  Obviously the point here is that I'm trying to get women to actually _want_ to come into the house.

So I bought a full living room furniture set on Saturday.  It will be nice; it's the one thing I don't have to move, and it will basically take care of an entire room, give or take.  Now I own a couch, loveseat, and chair.

So, back to the first question?  I know that I have a lot of places to sit now.  Now I just need to start getting dates.  Hmm, in business parlance, that could be referred to as Return On Investment...

Miniskirts Sell

Knock knock.

The tiniest of sounds on the door to my apartment.  I didn't even hear it, but one of the boys did.  I didn't buzz anybody in, so I was a bit nervous.  I don't want to buy anything right now.

I opened the door to see a young woman selling magazines.  You know the kind, they're selling 'em to make money, or earn points, or some such thing.  Hmmm, that miniskirt isn't covering that much, but it's hot out today.

Unfortunately she was a bit cute.  And since it's been quite a while since that's happened, I listened for a bit.  That crop top definitely helped in making my decision.

She looked a little hot standing in the doorway.  She asked if she could come in while she showed me the magazine choices.  Sure! Aw hell, you want to *sit* at the table?  Stupid me...

Then the boys began acting up.  Just a little bit, just to take away a bit of my attention.  My your tummy looks nice.  You must work out?

The boys started showing off.  I remember a fleeting thought about what could happen if she decided she liked the boys... anybody who likes the boys is OK in my book.  Hey! It's not my fault I keep looking at you like that, you've got glitter all over your shirt.  It's SHINY!

She started telling me some of the exotic places she could go from this promotion and that she could take a friend.  Of course she made the requisite joke about me going along.  Hmm, Is my passport current?

She made the expected personal plea to help her out.  Wow does she ever have nice eyes.  Where's my #*!%ing checkbook?

After she concluded the sale she wrote some letters on the receipt and gave me 10 seconds to guess what they meant; if I guessed correctly, she'd stop back and wash/wax my car.  For the love of...  yeah, I know, it's BS, but she already looks good now.  Imagine a sponge, soap bucket, etc....  holy hell.

WTF?  How did that happen?  What the hell am I going to do with 20 copies of Home and Garden?!?

Management Creedo and Ear-splitting Muzak

Nobody reads this crap.

That's the mantra I'll take whenever I decide to post on here from now on.  I've done some demographic work: turns out most of the women who visit, like most women I know, are married.  That really pisses off a single guy like me.

Wait, what the hell am I talking about?  I forgot the first line of this post.  Nobody reads this crap. Argh.

Anyway, I should get some good text up here for those who DO read this site, either for their job (Hello, FBI Criminal Investigations), or because they absolutely have no choice (Hey there, Googlebot!  How's that site crawling thing working out for ya?). 

I got home from work on Monday the 3rd around 8pm after stopping for a few drinks and bugging Mike at the liquor store, where he works to support his crack habit.  I opened my car door only to hear a horrendous noise coming from the parking lot next door, which is home to the Oneida Family Fitness and Recreation center.

Anyway, they have they those crackly outdoor speakers to page people.  Either as a joke or accidentally, they left the elevator music pumping out through the outdoor speakers, plain as day.  I guess I could have called the cops or something, but I didn't care that much.  Besides, I needed some content for this site.  Never look a gift horse in the mouth, I suppose.

Long story short... it was blasting away until I got home from the Green Bay fireworks around 10pm.  On the Fourth.

Hollywood Annoys

Time to get a post up here; it's been a few days since I've posted.

In all reality I'm just postponing working.  I've got a ton of DBG projects to work on, and a huge project or two at my full-time job too.  Instead of working on them, I've been watching ER reruns and movies and such.  Whoops.

I recently watched Crash, and was surprised to find it in the Top 100 movie list.  It was interesting, but I didn't think it was all that great of a movie.  It was one of those movies that I find myself unable to stop watching, but not because it's great.  Actually, it's more because if I stop watching a movie because I don't like it, about 6 months later I end up renting the damn thing again in case I was simply having a bad day.  Then I waste 2 MORE hours watching the same stupid ass flick, albeit all the way through.

Damn, that's annoying.

Anyway, I had intended to make a blog post on Thursday squawking about the number of production company logos I had to sit through when I watched Crash.  It was 6 or 7, I believe.  I mean, I'm all about putting logos on work, and for damn sure my company logo is all over anything I do, but still.... I thought perhaps the entire movie was going to be company logos crashing into each other.

Actually, I could make that post and backdate it so you'd think I was updating more regularly.  I would, but nobody reads this crap.  I mean, it's like I'm talking to my imaginary friend or something... nobody's there.  Who the hell can spell Madajczyk, anyway?

Foreign Objects

This just happened a minute ago.  I decided to watch a movie, specifically Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels tonight once I had the boys down.

I set the disc in my recently purchased Samsung DVD player and close the drawer.  Then I ran to the fridge to get a drink.  When I returned, I saw the drawer was still open.

Curious.  So I pushed it closed again, and about 2 seconds later it opened up again.  No errors, no warnings, but there it was, sticking it's mechanically operated tongue out at me.  Sonuva....

After a good thirty seconds of pondering, I remembered that I saw Toliver over by the player earlier this evening.  So I took the disc out, picked up the the player, and then rotated the player so that it was facing the floor.

I proceeded to shake the living crap out of it. Lo and behold, out pops a 128 mb CompactFlash card of which Toliver apparently decided that he needed to install into the DVD player slot.

I'm somewhat waiting for the MPAA to show up and start screaming that I was trying to dupe the disc onto the CompactFlash card...